Adoption Q&A: Advice for Parents Considering Adoption
To celebrate National Adoption Week 2024, we spoke to our very own NBS Mum, Lauren, who has adopted two lovely little ones of her own. We asked her some of your top frequently asked questions about the adoption process, as well as the common challenges adoptive parents face, and why she would recommend adoption to parents who are considering it.
Keep reading if you’re considering adopting children or are simply interested in hearing about how the adoption process works.
Adoption Q&A
When and why did you decide you wanted to adopt?
We were always very open to adoption so when we found out it would be difficult for us to conceive naturally, we made the call. We are so grateful we did, to have the beautiful little family we have.
How did you begin the adoption process? Was it easy?
To start the process, we contacted our local adoption agency to register interest. We were invited along to an informal information evening, then went from there. It was all pretty straightforward and you’re not alone with it, the adoption social workers are great.
Can you explain the adoption process?
I think it varies slightly depending on your agency, but I’ll detail the process we went through below:
Information session: This is an informal session to explore adoption.
Initial meeting with an adoption social worker: This is your first one-to-one session where you and the adoption social worker will decide if adoption is right for your family.
Registration of interest: If everyone’s in agreement, you’ll put together a registration of interest.
Stage 1: This includes your first training sessions, gaining childcare experience and gathering references.
Stage 2: Your adoption social worker will put together your Prospective Adopters Report (PAR) ready for panel – we had meetings once a week or so to discuss our background, lifestyle, family and childcare experience. Alongside this, we attended further preparation training, which included topics such as caring for infants and paediatric first aid.
Adoption panel: This is an interview with a panel of carefully selected individuals where a recommendation will be made about your approval to adopt.
Matching: Once you’re approved, you’ll move on to matching! This looks different for everyone – we were pre-linked with our first baby, but it took longer for us to find our perfect match second time around and we found him outside of our adoption agency. After a period of introductions your child will come home with you, with support from your social worker and the child’s social worker.
Adoption order: The final court hearing! Once the adoption order is granted, you have full parental rights.
How long did the adoption process take?
The length of time the process takes is different for everyone, there’s so many factors. When adopting our first baby, it took around 9 months from making the initial call to bringing him home. The second time around was a little more complicated and took nearer 18 months.
Would you recommend adoption to other prospective parents?
I think anyone who feels open to adoption should absolutely explore it.
What are the biggest challenges you faced with adoption?
With our first baby we did something called Fostering for Adoption (FFA) which is where you’re fostering with a plan to adopt, but there’s no guarantee that baby will stay with you. That was really nerve-racking but 1000% worth it – having him from newborn was so so special.
Our second baby was much more straightforward, without any risk, but the transition was much more challenging than we expected. I would say it took around a year for everyone to settle, which felt like a really long time when we were in it, but we’re 18 months post-adoption now and wouldn’t have it any other way. I also found it took much longer to bond with our second baby, who was already his own little person and a challenging toddler, but once we had a little breathing space and everything started to settle, I started feeling much more connected.
How many children have you adopted?
We have 2 boys. Our first baby came home with us when he was newborn and our second came home with us just before his second birthday.
Do your children know and understand that they are adopted? Why did you/didn't you decide to tell them?
Yes, we speak openly about their birth families, foster families, early experiences and adoptions. Both boys have life story books with photos and occasionally have questions or make comments. They’re just 3 and 5 so it’s all very matter-of-fact and they’re both very content with it.
It's encouraged by the adoption social workers to be open with your adopted children, sharing what you can in an age-appropriate way.
How did you explain adoption to your children?
Our children have very different stories but to keep things simple, they know that they grew in someone else’s tummy, then came to us (with a little help from the family fairies!). We are their forever family.
We’re fortunate to have friends and family that are/ have adopted or offer foster care, so it’s all quite ordinary for our children.
What advice do you have for parents who may be considering adoption?
Explore it! The information session and initial meeting with the adoption social worker are both great tools for gathering information and exploring if adoption is right for your family, and if now is the right time.
The process is intense (and there is a lot of admin!) but it’s a short time for a lifetime with your children.
Further Support
If you have any further questions about adoption, and want to get in touch with Lauren to hear more about her experiences, or want to share your own adoption story, you can email us at pr@naturalbabyshower.co.uk and Lauren will be in touch, she’d love to help more children find their forever homes.
We hope this blog has answered all your questions about adoption, and that if it was something you were considering, you feel more confident and excited about starting the process.
If you have a little one on the way, however they’re arriving, you’ll need to start shopping for your nursery and parenting essentials. Shop our Green October collection now for exclusive savings and limited-time offers.
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